Demonstrating the Field of Possibility

The other day, I mentioned at a group I was leading that I did not like to give advice and that I tried not to.  Before I go on, I have to confess that my wife was at the meeting and nearly gagged when she heard me say this! We had a good laugh later. I definitely should have clarified that statement! So, for the record, I try not give advice, except around the house.

Because I am a counselor, and, supposedly,  people come to see me for advice, it might seem strange that I try to avoid giving advice. None-the-less, it is true. There are two reasons for this.

One: I have found that guiding people to self discovery from my own experience is a much more powerful style of counseling. I  occasionally even  share my  experience of life, which is a big “no no” in traditional counseling, but I have found that vulnerability is a more powerful counselor than objectivity.

Two: most of us do not like to being  told what to do. We usually don\’t like being preached to. Of course,  some of us relish a teacher (or path) to whom we can hand over personal responsibility for our life and spiritual progress and, sometimes, this is where we find ourselves on our personal path. Without this giving over, religion would not flourish. But some of us have a built in anti-advice warning system that prevents us from taking the religious path! We sincerely do not like to be told what to do, and often we even resist the so-called “helpful” suggestion.

This brings up an important question for those who are interested in changing the world into a kinder and more compassionate place. When we personally accept that love, kindness and compassion are the surest routes to aliveness and frequent bouts with happiness and inner peace, how can we share the good news with others without proselytizing and offending them and turning them off?

Well, the most powerful teaching you can offer is from your own experience, right? So, just living what you believe is the most powerful path for sharing.  I call this demonstrating the field of possibility. There is no proselytizing, just walking the talk.

Of course, as Rumi says, we are often “forgetful.” We drop out of consciousness, and the compassion it engenders quickly evaporates as we  move back into the ego and its stories of judgement and blame.  That’s human. Rumi said “for sixty years I have been forgetful!” And, if this great lover and teacher was forgetful, chances are we will be too.  Rumi described the world as an “elegant patterning” which includes all things and all parts of ourselves. To err is human, we hear.  If we try to act out of what we are not feeling in the moment, we end up being inauthentic. We have to live who we are, even when we are unskillful and ego driven.

So, sometimes we forget to demonstrate the field of possibility because we are not in it ourselves. When we become aware that this has happened, we take personal responsibility for our error and shower mercy on ourselves and our all-to-human detour into the ego. Immediately, we find ourselves back in the field of consciousness and possibility. We have entered the field through self -mercy. By maintaining our authenticity, rather than sometimes pretending love we don’t feel, we demonstrate what could be called a “living” humility.  We are actively demonstrating the field of possibility by putting aside the ego  in favor of mercy, love and compassion. We demonstrate the field of possibility by the action we take,  rather than the talk we make. It’s all so  beautiful and elegant.