Giving and Receiving Joy and Letting it Go

Tim Freke has these wonderful words to say about our impermanence.

“The great grief of life, caused by impermanence, can’t be avoided. But it’s ameliorated by also knowing the great joy of life, which is that every moment is a fresh expression of the primal goodness. And then impermanence becomes poignantly beautiful. Each moment becomes a blessing to be cherished before it passes forever. Each meeting becomes an opportunity to fall in love that will never come again.”

We might be worried about that ending, “that will never come again.” Nothing like a little death and non-existence to stir up existential discomfort! And so it is with joy. For most of us, joy is not a permanent state. We may try to hold onto the giving and the receiving of joy, but there is something about its usual impermanence without which joy would not be so poignant and sweet. And would we truly know joy without sorrow for a bleak foil, or could we fully comprehend sorrow without bright joy to set it off?

The Buddha tells us that suffering is caused by attachment. This includes, of course, attachment to emotional states.  It is wonderful to give joy. It is wonderful to receive joy. It is the coming and going of joy that makes it so precious. Joy is like breathing. We can’t hold our breath to obtain more oxygen. In and out. In and out. This is not to say we cannot have a vision of joy and happiness in our lives. Vision precedes reality. But we need to be careful lest our vision turn into expectation. If it does, we might end up attached to the joy outcome. Suffering.

I love this Tibetan blessing:

May all beings be filled with loving kindness

May they be peaceful and at ease

May they be happy

May they be well

Substitute “I” or someone who is suffering or anyone you like for “all beings.” The important thing is to feel the blessing coming from your heart. That’s joy. The joy of being alive, contributing, giving your love without any expectation of love returned. No need to worry. With love there is no truer expression than “what goes around comes around.” Trust.

I am reminded of Rumi when he speaks of our conscious and loving core saying “the same in ecstasy as in self hating fatigue.” No holding onto emotional states. Like Freke says, we keep falling in love moment to moment.  And as Rumi says, life keeps “flowing towards us.” What a wonderful condition we find ourselves in! Breathe!